Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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