The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
