Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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