I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
