tell your sister to shave her snatch
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
