Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize