i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
