Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
