The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
