I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
