Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
