smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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