All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
