I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
