it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
