you would pick up someone in the library
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
