i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
