I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
