who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
