you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
