The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
