So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
