I heard we made out
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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