Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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