Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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