we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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