GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
