I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
