I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
