Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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