just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
