thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize