I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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