The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
