It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
