You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
