Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You need a sexual gate keeper
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
