i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
