When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
