I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
