i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
