My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
