he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
