seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
