NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
