like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
