He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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