I just made out with a guy for $7.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
