i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
