Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
