I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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