what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
