He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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