i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
