I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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