i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
