they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
