Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
