And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
