bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
