never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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