you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
